All words presented in this blog are purely opinion, not fact - unless specifically stated otherwise in the post.

Monday 24 June 2013

Fifty Shades of Grey The Movie

Surely this is just porn? I mean... it doesn't particularly have a story, it's just a string of pornographic- very graphic in fact - encounters of bondage and sex. its not really a love story, there's no mad man forcing this stuff on her, its just a girl who never had sex before losing her virginity to a bondage loving dominator who happens to be attractive, no?
Am I in any way wrong?
I'm sure the people out there who love it (and there are a surprising number of the affectionately named 'illiterates') are... well... not reading this blog, but if they were they'd probably arguing, telling me it's a beautiful love story that needs to be told on the big screen.
Of course; they'd be wrong.

Of course my readers will already know what I think of the twilight fan fiction named 'Fifty Shades of grey' that has been very generously called a 'book'. but while I was completely happy to leave it alone now that fewer people are reading it on the tube (only 2 noticeable people today) it appears to have come again into my field of vision in the form of an article in the newspaper speculating on which Hollywood actress will be in it.
The article said that it's going to be either Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde, Jessica Pare, Emma Watson, Lucy hale, Leighton Meester, Amanda Seyfried or Sasha Grey. To which my immediate response is 'either its going to be none of them because none of them are porn stars (Sasha Grey used to be but from what Wikipedia says she isn't anymore) and the only way to make it would be to make a full on porno, because that's what it bloody well is. Or it will be one of them and the film is going to cut out all of the sex scenes because not a one of those actresses would be put on the big screen in a full on domination bdsm bondage porno.'
Don't get me wrong, I would love to see each and every one of those actresses in such positions, I'm a guy after all, every one of them are gorgeous and I'd even agree to see 50 shades the movie if I thought i'd see Emma Watson or Mila Kunis naked - I'm a pervert, what do you want from me? - but they wont. they're big, famous actresses, they don't need to do porn to get paid so why would they?

If I'm wrong fair enough I have a little less respect for whichever one does it. It just strikes me as a really bad idea to make a fifty shades of grey movie, unless they're making it with porn stars. From what I've seen the book barely has any more plot than a standard Porno.

Anyway. Rant over.

- James

Friday 21 June 2013

Minority-opinions news

In news today I have invited my friend Liz to start blogging with me. For the most part she'll be posting cool things about geeky stuff that I can't do - like going to comicon next month - but I've also invited her to come up with a segment and post about things I'm not particularly interested in that some people out there might be.

Take for instance her being a girl, I'm sure there are lots of girly things out there she likes like pretty barbie dolls and... and... makeup and stuff that I'm not going to be able to go into, but now, here at Minority-opinions, we have a girl on staff to talk silly things with you.

Silly girly things.

In the next few days the blog will likely get a re-design to be more general and less about me - though I will still be keeping everyone up to date with my writing and my of 52 - what do you mean I'm not remotely up to date with that and if I was I'd be in the 40s now if not 50s yet I'm still floundering on 30s. How dare you!

But I'm hopeful that my dear friend Elizabeth will be able to add a heap of information and life to this stagnant pile of geekiness.

Welcome Elizabeth, you're our only hope.

 - James

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Thirty-Seven of Fifty-Two



Now portal was brilliant. Like nothing I'd ever played before, and yet it wasn't even it's own full game. it was a part of the Orange box which was a compilation of Valve games designed to make you forget that they took ages to bring out the latest Half-life with only half what they intended to give you.

What was great about Portal was that it was a first person puzzle game. It was the exact same controls as a first person shooter but there wasn't any killing. There were robots with guns but it wasn't about them so much as it was about getting around them.

It's not a long game, its quite short in point of fact, maybe a few hours, but that's fine, it was never intended to be a long game, it was short, it had some great puzzles- oh and the pitch black humour.
The best thing about it was the humour, GladOS, the machine tryingto kill you just spends the whole time insulting you and making fun of you. Theres even a point where she tells you you're adopted and that your parents don't love you. It's just hilarious to hear a super powerful AI being so petty.

It's an amazing, interesting, fun game from start to finish. just play it. Now. There's no reason not to. It's only £6.99 on steam.

- James

Tuesday 4 June 2013

Thirty-Six of Fifty-Two



Now I hadn't really been a huge Ironman fan ever, which is odd considering he kind of exemplifies what I hold dearest in super hero-ness (intelligence). But when I saw the first advert for this film (and found out RDJ was playing stark) I had to see it.

Ironman came out three years after Batman Begins which was easily the best super hero movie to its date. Batman was great. It was dark, edgy, it was a very interesting super movie that didn't suffer from the same issues that previous films did - issues including needing to have big fight scenes every 2 minutes to keep people attention, not really developping the characters - It was easily the best super film ever.
Until Ironman came along.
Don't get me wrong I still love Batman. that film was great (not least because it had Liam Neeson as Ra's Al Ghul) but Ironman brought humour to it. Ironman had a lead character that I didn't get sick of after ten minutes. He's a genious, billionnaire playboy philanthropist and loves it. He loves who he is he just also is a super hero.
Bruce has so much regret and hate and anger, it gets tiresome and depressing, then there's Tony. Fun, exciting and maybe has a little bit of a drinking problem. In high school Tony was the popular Jock and Bruce was the gothy Emo who pretended to like that nobody spoke to him except the school teachers.

However this isn't about Batman, it's abotu Ironman.
Ironman has a fast, stylish and exciting plot. The characters are fun and lively, the special effects and the music is amazing. It's funny, dramatic, and it really is exciting.

If you havent watched it you should. If you're reading my blog and you havent seen ironman theres something wrong with you.
The second ones not so good, but the first (and Avengers) is amazing.

- James