All words presented in this blog are purely opinion, not fact - unless specifically stated otherwise in the post.

Tuesday 27 August 2013

Whats wrong with that? Secretly Awful

So I've been in need of a subject to write about, a segment perhaps, and today I've decided to give 'What's wrong with that?' a test run.
To put it simply I'm copying's 'After Hours' show and removing the back and forth from it. Not because I want to, but because I don't have any friends. I'm not just going into this with the intention to ruin things, I may very well realise that things are just as they appear, but after watching a lot of Cracked videos I've been thinking a lot about the things I watched as a kid and I've come to the following topic:

'Media from my youth that's secretly awful'

This one was mentioned in the video '3 popular childrens shows that secretly hate animals' and so I'm getting it out of the way first and quickly. The whole world of Pokémon runs on an entirely animal fighting based economy, but not only that; people are so poor in the world of Pokémon that at the age of ten (roughly) children are given a dog fighting animal and sent out in the world to fend for themselves.
This is awful on so many levels I can't begin to fully put across to you how bad it is, but try to imagine this; At the age of ten you are sent to a strange old man who everyone trusts and follows unconditionally, who then gives you a new pet -training on how to look after your new buddy, just a pet that's been squashed inside a little ball that fits in your pocket (we'll assume that the pokeballs are special technology that makes it comfortable and there is no animal cruelty in teleporting these animals, some of which are the size of buildings, into balls that fit into your hand) - then gives you a pokedex to store information and sends you on your way.
No food, no camping equipment, nothing. Just a pokeball, an empty encyclopaedia and a pat on the back.

Child abuse, child labour and dog fighting. child protection and animal protection agencies clearly don't exist in this universe.

Power Rangers
There are a few problems with power rangers, but perhaps nothing so bad as Pokémon.The main part of this is that enemies never seemed to attack when the rangers had school, which doesn't sound bad, but think about it. The Rangers were in school, clearly. The actors were in their thirties so they were clearly trying to portray high school students. There were a couple of episodes where you saw them in a hallway that looked like it had lockers. They always seemed to carry around school bags... so yes, the rangers were school kids, and the villain knew it. Worse than that, of course, Zordon knew it. He hired five plus kids to fight these villains. These giant monsterous creatures, clearly putting them in very real danger. He doesn't go to the police or the government and offer them armour or weapons, he gives it to a handful of teenagers.
Who's to say what Rita's real plan is? She's always cursing the power rangers, but is it because they foil her plan of world domination, or perhaps because she's trying to save them from Zordon's indoctrination?
... probably not, but it's still pretty messed up that the guy's employing kids to fight monsters when he could hire grown ups, police, maybe if it was grown ups doign the fighting they wouldn't let their hormones and 'turning around now would look awesome' sense distract them from finishing off their monster enemies and letting them turn into giants that wreck the city on a weekly basis. I mean seriously; how much does it cost to re-build a power ranger city every week? no wonder theres a recession.

... Was secretly about meeting paedophiles online and it being okay so long as they love you.
Okay, before you laugh this statement away let me explain;
In the original digimon the kids met their digimon in a digital world that was populated by others like them. An entire world populated by these digimon, these digital monsters, these internet predators, if you will. They befriend a handful of them who love them and make them trust in them. Whenever they have to, whenever they get excited or whenever it's important, they 'grow bigger' and it's made clear in a few places that the digimon cannot 'digi-volve' without the love of their child partners.
They constantly show that there are good internet predators and bad predators, the good ones love you, the bad ones just want to use you.
In Digimon Trainers (and I'm aware I was far too old to be watchign that show when it aired) they even included a type of evolution called 'Bio-merge' in which - and I'm not making this up - the children get naked and merge their bodies with their digital partners.
The two become one, if you will.
I know, it's a bit of a stretch to say that the entire show is about internet predators and the fact that so long as there is love; it's okay. But consider this one thing; why do most of the digimon, at their most evolved, become human? if they're simply monsters, just a nice little cartoon about pets, then why is it that most of the digimon evolve into humans that the kids can be with?

Its creepy.

- James

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