Day of the- wait, what?

Oh my god, that was awesome! Did you see it? the Day of the Doctor, 50th anniversary special!
Wait... you didn't? But... but then you can't read this... which means there's no point in me writing it... Damnation! I was so set to write all about doctor who, but now I feel bad about the idea of spoiling it all for you.
Okay, fine, I'll talk about something else.

For the first time since I started doing nanowrimo I'm struggling. I don't know what it is. Whether its because I'm working, because I'm just not that into it anymore, or because every so often I get sad and can't write for a couple of days I don't know, but the fact remains I am not doing great.
As of this moment I am 3500 words behind.
Several times now I've considered quitting, several times I've looked at the gaping maw that is my catch up number (yesterday it was 8000) and I've said 'No. No I'm not going to do it. I'm done. I'm going to go play batman.'
But then I stop and look at myself and keep writing, because this is what I want to do with myself. This is how I want to spend my life; writing stories and entertaining people.
Making them laugh, making them cry, making them think they know what's up only to have something completely different throw them for a loop.

It's my dream to be a writer - no, I'm already a writer. It's my dream to be an Author and it occurs to me that I'm holding myself back.
From now on I will focus, I'll have days off and I'll enjoy myself, but becoming a published author is what I want, it's who I am so I'm going to stop blocking myself off because I'm scared it might not happen.

Thank you for your support.
Doctor-Outtakes-tube
-James